Monday smile: new definitions

Traffic light: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches. Divorce: postgraduate in School of Love. People: some make things happen, some watch things happen and the majority have no idea what's happened. Swimming pool: a mob of people with water in it. Egocentric: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. Magazine: a bunch of printed pages that tell you what's coming in the next issue. College: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone. Emergency numbers: Police station, fire department and places that deliver. Buffet: A French word that means "Get up and get it yourself". Babysitter: A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers. Tattoo: Permanent proof of temporary insanity.