I once ran a wildlife sanctuary and safari operation in the Zambezi Valley. During the wet season, the area was inaccessible by road and therefore very few people came to visit.
During this period, we spent most our time doing anti-poaching work. Due to the possibility of an attack on our camp, I used to sleep in a different empty room or tent every night. I also always kept a loaded rifle next to the bed.
One night I awoke to a sound of voices whispering.
I rolled off my mattress and picked up the rifle and torch and quietly approached the gauze window to peer out. There was quite a bit of moonlight and I could make out several figures carrying one small torch. My own team would not risk being shot by walking around the camp at night without giving verbal warning first. I steeled myself for a fight.
I knew the paths of course and as I was barefoot I was able to quietly sneak up on them. A few feet behind them, I raised my rifle and switched on the torch, which I held under the barrel. At the same time I shouted in the local Goba language, "IWE MIRAI!!” They froze and two of them screamed.
Two elderly European couples stood in front of me with shock on their faces. They had turned around and were also shining their one torch at me. I cleared my throat and said, "Sorry, I thought you were poachers."
They said nothing and, even more strangely, the two women were looking everywhere except at me whilst the chap with the torch was now pointing it behind him.
It slowly dawned on me... I was stark naked.
There was nothing for it but to behave perfectly naturally, and so I said, "How can I help you folks?” I casually slung my rifle over my shoulder and put one hand on my hip trying to somehow look normal.
A couple of months later I was in a completely different country and met a couple who had never even been to the country where I worked. They asked me what I did and where I was based, and I told them.
There was silence and I wondered what I had said wrong. Then the woman said to me, "Are you the guy who runs around naked in the bush at night hunting poachers"?
From Rory Young.
