Monday smile: What a Concept

Early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Support bacteria - the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.